He Said…She Said…

  Ephesians 4:29 ;Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

What is Gossip? 

Gossip is defined as : casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. 

Have you ever heard something  about someone else and it was soooo juicy that you just had to tell someone else, not thinking that it could hurt them or cause problems for you and the other person or even get back to them. Well I am here to help us all understand what Gossip is, does and what the word says about it. I hope you find this to be helpful and of some use. You may be reading this and say this is so elementary I’m aware of this, but think about it you still do it to this day. SO think of this as a refresher! So let’s jump on in:

We are all guilty of Gossiping even myself. I use to be the biggest gossiper known to man. I would know the EVERYONE’S business, but as I grew up and became older and wiser I started to notice how gossiping caused confusion, drama, chaos, unnecessary fights (verbal/physical) so on and so forth.  I really saw how much confusion and drama gossiping  brought when the tables were turned and I was the one that was being  talked about. No one ever wants to be on the side of being spoken bad of but are quick to be the one spewing all evil and probably even false accusations.

As children of God we  MUST set a standard and  not become obsessed with knowing details of everyone else’s life, and focus more on our own soul salvation. This also goes for those who may be new in their walk with God, when we focus less on others and more on ourselves and getting ourselves together we don’t have time to entertain gossip . We must be careful with the conversations that we keep and what we expose our ear’s too. Why you ask?  Well first of all your ears are one of the many gateways to your spirit and when you let certain things in through certain gateways that’s when you give access to the enemy to use you. Secondly because the devil loves to cause division, chaos,confusion,quarrel ect and that is exactly what gossiping does.

The devil enjoys  seeing the children of God coming against one another and  tearing each other down, instead of lifting each other up. The enemy knows that sooner or later the spirit of division, quarrel, hate, backbiting, un forgiveness, murder (in our hearts not physically but it could get to that point if we let it) is going to show itself. God is not about that he is a God of Love and since we are his children and made in his image we are to be of Love  and of light as well.

Hmmm.. WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO???

When someone comes to you with information about  another person doing or behaving in a way that is not Christ-like  whether that be stealing, fornicating, addicted to porn, drinking, smoking, ect) instead of us running and telling the next person what you heard bring it to God in prayer and pray for that person. When we have a pure heart and pure intentions then we truly care for each other’s soul and walk with God .  Galatians 6:2 says;Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  So when you hear a rumor about someone and you sit back and indulge in the gossip your not carrying the burden of your brother or sister. When Jesus said bear ye one another burden’s He isn’t saying that we are to literally take on their problems but  we are to pray for them  and be an intercessor for them not be so quick to judge or look down on them.

I know your thinking but what if it’s true? If the rumor  is true we ourselves are not perfect we sin everyday we just sin differently. So we have no right to point the finger at anyone and make them feel condemned. If the rumor is true and you are  1000% sure and have concrete evidence the whole works still let it be. If that person want’s to talk about it or needs an ear or shoulder to cry on they will go to someone who they trust and love and speak about whatever is going on. There is no need for you to give unwanted or asked advice/ opinion. If they come to you and want to talk then love on them do not condemn them or judge and most importantly whatever is discussed between you and that person stays between you and that person.

Let me break down the difference between Condemnation and Conviction really quick :

Condemnation means that when someone does something that is wrong they feel like their is no way out.

Conviction works differently for the Christian and non-christian. For the non-christian, conviction shows sinfulness, guilt and brings fear of God’s righteous judgement. Whereas, conviction in the believer brings an awareness of sin and results in repentance, confession and cleansing.

We should get to a place where we do no feel comfortable being in the same space where there is gossip or just negativity in general. I know that sometimes you cannot escape from hearing the He said…She said because you maybe at work, out to eat with friends, in the car with someone ect. What you could do is:

  • find a way to change the conversation
  • you could say something along the lines of “you know what guys instead of talking bout this person lets pray for them”
  • you could tune them out
  • Pray that whom ever is speaking against another person that the Love of God will over take them.
  • If they ask you for your thoughts on the situation have no comment.

but whatever you do,  DO NOT GET INVOLVED.  This is pretty cliche everyone has said this at least once  but Do unto others as you would want done unto you (Luke 6:31)

But I’m the being talked about ( Here is  some Encouragement for you)

If you are the person who is being talked about I know that it’s easier said then done but just forgive and try to  ignore. As long as you know who YOU are and know what is true and what is false that is all that matters. You do not need to explain yourself or prove yourself to ANYONE!!!! Some people may hear something that is completely true but then put a twist to it. Whatever you do please do not do evil for evil and spread rumors about them or talk about them to other people. I know how it feels to have people speak evil against you or about you and it hurts, makes you mad, makes you want to cry, but at the end of the day God loves you and knows the real you. What God thinks about you over rules what everyone else has to say or think.

People will talk whether your doing good or bad. When people speak about me and make up lies, rumors, I always say to myself “Well I must be doing something right because they just can’t seem to stop talking about me”.  What people seem to forget is that not everyone is going to like you and will try to find fault with everything you do or even say, but what we must remember is that we are responsible for our response. You do not always have to have a response to everything. Sometimes silence is the best answer. Keep your head up, smile, know your worth and who you are, carry yourself as the beautiful/hansom wonderfully made person God created you to be. Things will get better and usually the people who try to bring others down with their words feel insecure or not good about themselves, so they feel that they need to bring others down so they can feel better about themselves.

God is the only one who can judge us and will judge us on judgment day. On judgement day we will ALL have to give an account on what we did or didn’t do while we were on the earth. As little as people may think that talking about one another is, that is not Okay in the eyes of God and we will have to answer for that. Especially as children of God we need to come up higher and not get into our flesh and let our emotions run us. We have 2 choices when we hear gossip we either take part  in  evil communications and submit to our flesh or submit to God and do what He would want us to do which is keep ALL evil communications out of our mouth.

 Romans 12:14-18;Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

So if you find yourself around people who all they do is gossip and speak about others downfalls  you need to take yourself out of the equation. You need to continue to live the life that God has for you and not get caught up in the conversations that serve you no purpose.

Key Points:

  1. Set a Standard for yourself to not get involved in evil communication.
  2. Don’t indulge in negative conversations that does not uplift others.
  3. Bring the matter at hand to God in prayer.
  4. Love on the person/ Don’t change how you treat them because of what you heard
  5. Remember that you are a Child of God
  6. Do not do evil for evil
  7. Know who you are in Christ so when people  say something about you it does not phase you.
  8. Pray for your enemies
  9. Give it God
  10. Know that God loves you no matter what and his love never fails.
  11. Bonus* Your ears are not trash cans… if its going to taint your spirit keep it out.

xoxox God Bless ❤

 

2 thoughts on “He Said…She Said…

  1. I love it!!! So true, a few months ago I posted a comment on my page about this topic, except, I was also saying how there is a special place in Hell for gossipers. One day as I read Mary K. Baxter’s Devine Revelation of Hell, I read about that special horrific place, and boy did I have to repent, although I never thought of myself as one, God has a way to Remind us, Really QUICK! Glad for this blog, beautiful! God’s blessings!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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