Looking At You….Looking At Me

Breathe and think for a moment…… what thoughts have you had about yourself today? Were they thoughts of encouragement? brought a smile to your face? made you laugh? or was it negative, nitpicking at every little thing you felt or saw that was not right?

Unfortunately, we live in a world where there are a lot of comparisons, magnifying flaws, and a lot of that is due to social media and our society. When you look on social media the women who have curves, long hair, wear little to no clothing, twerking, and I could go on, they get thousands of views and likes, however, let someone take a picture fully clothed they may get a few hundred likes but they won’t get the same reaction that the lady with fewer clothes on and being provocative would receive. It’s sad that a lot of us take social media seriously as if that defines us.

When we compare ourselves to people it just shows that we are uncertain about who we are and/or we are not comfortable with ourselves.

Comparison is a joy kill. Nothing can steal your joy and confidence more than comparing yourself to someone and decreasing your worth and value because you don’t know your worth and value… I have had moments where I would compare myself to people and it would start off innocent and playful, but the more I would dwell on it and keep thinking ” I wish I had” or “only if ” those thoughts easily turned into jealousy and low key covetousness.

We may not base our self-worth by appearance it could be accomplishments, feeling shame from our past, setting unrealistic standards for ourselves, etc. When was the last time you compared your life to someone else’s whether it be someone on social media or someone that you know personally? One thing that we all can agree on ( and some would probably disagree..of course) is that no one is perfect, we all have flaws. Some flaws we can see and some flaws we can’t, but that’s not important. We all need to accept who we are and not look at other people and what they have or may not have.

I know for myself growing up I had short hair. I would envy those who had long, thick, voluminous hair. I would play around and say things like ” must be nice to have long hair” but deep down I was jealous. Soon the playful jesters turned into ” Oh she thinks she is better than me because she has long hair?” or ” She is always playing with her hair…we know you have long hair just stop it”, something as small and silly as hair cause me to feel less than. I would get annoyed but deep inside it was just insecurity that I had, and I didn’t know how to accept and be content with what I already had.

I thank God now I am content and love myself the way I am. It doesn’t even have to be something superficial like looks, it could be something in ministry, you feel like you should be where someone is, you should have their position/role, or a co-worker got a promotion and she hasn’t even been on the job for as long as you have. You can easily start to ask yourself what does he or she have that I don’t have. Festinger also pointed out that when we stop comparing ourselves to other people, we often experience hostility and derogation toward those people — as long as continuing to compare ourselves to them brings unpleasant consequences.

You’ve Already been Approved

How comforting is it to know that you have already been approved by God? If you are feeling less than, sad, overwhelmed and devalued I am here to let you know that YOU HAVE ALREADY BEEN APPROVED by GOD!!! When you allow yourself to get to the place where you give others permission to evaluate you, you are giving them the power to determine your self-worth. The word of God has already established who we are.

What does the bible say about Comparison and how do we refrain from it?

The Bible tells us to remain in the Word. When you feel the temptation to compare yourself to others its good to have the word of God in your heart this way you have something to combat those thoughts. One scripture to have in your heart that I know I say is “

” I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” – Psalm 139:14

” Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than ourselves.” – Philippians 2:3

“Do not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another” – Galatians 5:26

Also, the bible speaks on us serving others. When we serve others it helps us to take our minds off ourselves and focus on meeting the needs of others. There were studies that showed there is a positive effect serving has on overall physical and mental health.

Matthew 20 says; ” whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many:.

Ways to Refrain from the Temptation of Comparison

  • Align your view of yourself to God’s view
  • Identify what the issue is that not allowing you to see how God sees you
  • Whenever you recognize that old behavior pattern of thinking or behaving interrupt it and substitute your new way of thinking and behaving,

I pray this was a blessing and that you were able to receive something.

xoxoxo Z.M ❤

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