Let’s Be Transparent!!

( This is a new segment that I want to do, where I can be transparent with you all and talk more personal with you guys. I will be talking from a place of self, life, love, relationships, heart, thoughts, randomness ect. If you guys have any questions or topics you would like to discuss this will be the segment we would do that. I hope you enjoy… Love you )

I read a post the other day that really touched me. Touched me in a way that it wrecked me! Mariah Houghton Rideau posted a blog recently that spoke about why she had been absent from blogging and social media. She was very transparent and real. She was nervous to post because she was taking us into her inner most deepest thoughts which alone is scary enough! There were so many things that she touched on that made me feel like *phewww I’m not alone on this roller coaster we call life* There are times when we doubt ourselves, I know I am not the only one who has doubted themselves. For myself there are times where even though I may write good content and I do believe and agree with what I write, however I am going through it at that current moment and sometimes its feels as if I am being hypocritical because I am saying one thing and being positive and encouraging but yet I am going through, and may not be as positive in real life, and dealing with that current state in my life. You know that saying “practice what you preach”. Mariah wrote :

“I feel like a disappointment, that the person who prays depression away for you still deals with it herself. The girl who writes about lonelinesss still asks God ” where have you been?”. I’m sorry if this disappoints you, that your favorite instagram girl is actually insecure” -Bonjour Mariah

Let me tell you when I read that I felt that in every part of my body!! I was shook! There have been many occasions where I have felt like a disappointment or as if what God has placed on my heart to do was a waste or a mistake. I even questioned myself like ” did God really tell me to do this? or was this me?”. When people don’t support you or fake support you, or don’t read what you put out it can be a little disheartening. Many people only see what we allow them to see as far as the good, bad and the ugly. It is rare that people let you see the UGLY side of their life because they want to paint an unrealistic life that everything is gucci and life is stress/problem free #iwish. They do not get to see the ugly side to things and what goes down behind the scenes. These past few months have been a battle for me mind, body, spirit and soul. A BATTLE!!! When God gives you a mandate and you work towards fulfilling it, best believe a fight is around the corner. Not a physical fight but more so a spiritual fight.

” I’m writing from a lonely place. From a place where I feel infinitesimal. From a place where honestly, I read back on my posts from the past and wonder why anyone would want to read something written by me. Someone so malaise, someone still struggling in infinite areas” – Bonjour Mariah

When the Lord told me to start a blog this was in 2010-2011 I was hesitant because I was not sure what I wanted to talk about or who my audience would be. I put it off for so long but the Lord would keep reminding me of what he told me to do. Long story short the Lord gave me insight on what He wanted me to do as far as audience and he gave me the name, and in 2016 I decided to finally submit and be obedient. Nothing is more intimidating than posting things especially about the word of God. Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions on what is right or wrong, and in today’s world everything is debatable and very opinionated, so you never know the feedback or clapbacks you will get.

Thank God I have not received any negative feedback ( at least to my face), however the thought does play in my mind at times, and I know its the devil who brings thoughts like ” who wants to hear from you?” , ” you are not a preacher“, “your struggling in that area, you have no room to talk” ect. Now one thing is when I do write about certain things and I may be going through it at that time, I am not only helping others but I am also helping myself. Sometime you have to give yourself a pep talk and get your life ALL THE WAY together and back on track. Its one of those moments we all have where you know what to do, but sometimes you rather be difficult and do what your flesh wants. So when I post my blogs I am like “Ok Sis, you can’t be out here tell people not to do this, that and the third, and you do the complete opposite”, because at the end of the day I will have to give an account for what I am tell you guys and my actions as well. The word says in Matthew 18:6 ;

But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

So I pray that I everyone is enjoying what I post and they are able to relate, get some insight and understand a little bit more. I pray I can be more transparent with my life and things that I struggle with on a daily because I am NOT PERFECT AT ALL and I sin daily but I know I have some wisdom that I can drop on you guys and help your walk and growth in the Lord. Everyday is a new day for Growth so let’s Grow together.

Feel free to let me know some topics or questions you would for me to do in this segment. I am open to ideas..

Love you all to pieces,

xoxox, ZM

The Thoughts of GLP #rant

I woke up this morning very overwhelmed and anxious! For what?? I don’t know! I mean granted its pretty cold today and its raining outside. Lately a lot of unfortunate events have taken place in the world, and it’s been weighing me down! I really felt lost and confused about life! So as I was getting ready for the day I started praying for souls and other things that have been weighing heavy on me!

Then all of the sudden i started to pray over suicidal thoughts and those who may be battling this thing we call life! I want to encourage my sisters and brothers in Christ to stay encouraged!!! God loves you…I love you! Don’t let what you are going through, what you can’t control get you to a place where you walk in doubt, fear or depression! This is coming from a person who has and does struggle with depression and has for YEARSS!!! It always shows its ugly head up at certain points in my life!

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”  Zephaniah 3:17

If you feel overwhelmed, lost, useless and just not valued! I am here to tell you, you are valued, loved, cherished! You may have made some mistakes in the past or even present! Do not keep revisiting those memories. It’s time to move on, start a fresh and a new. No one is perfect even though we try to act as if we are. I believe what your going through is for your purpose! Whatever that purpose may be. I feel like challenges that we face in life are not just challenges we go through to say that we went through it. It serves a purpose. Even going back to what I just said ” we go through” that just tells you that this in not your final stop. You are passing through to get to where you need to go! 

Be transparent with is our Heavenly Father! When your not sure about something PRAY!!! cry out to God and I mean CRY out to God. There is nothing like a good cry! Cast ALLLL your cares at the feet of Jesus! He wants to hear from you! God waits for you to communicate with Him. You have instant, direct access to God. He sees your hurt, sees your tears and knows all!

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because He first loved us.”  1 John 4:18-19

His love is so pure and it’s unconditional! You may think he isn’t there but he is! Talk to him he wants to hear from you do not hold anything in! You have this and will get through this! Push…Push… Push! The enemy will not win!

Remember: Self-Love is not selfishness!

* YOU ARE LOVED

*YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE

*YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS

*YOU ARE NOT WHAT OR WHO THE WORLD SAYS YOU ARE!

*YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE AND JOY

*YOUR LIFE IS A GIFT. YOU WILL USE THIS GIFT WITH CONFIDENCE & JOY!

*YOU WILL SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE WHO WILL HELP BRING THE BEST OUT IN YOU!

* YOU WILL RELEASE YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS, EMBRACING POSITIVITY AND OPTIMISM.

*YOU DO NOT NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO FEEL HAPPINESS.

YOU’VE GOT THIS! Stay encouraged, talk to God and/or someone who you trust, or even both!!!! DO NOT KEEP THINGS BOTTLES IN! and most important GOD LOVES YOU, CARES FOR YOU AND HAS A PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE!!! 

 

xoxo..Z.M.