It’s not the deep… The struggle of over thinking.
“When you have been rejected and felt less than and not love able for a good portion of your life you start to think that everyone is against you or out to get you. Even when things are going well you will think " this is too good to be true". People who truly loved me and have my best interest at heart, i've pushed away because i felt it was too good to be true, so let me detach from them before they detach/ reject me. In the long run it was never like that , but because of my overthinking and things from the past that I had not dealt with."
- Zalia Monteiro ( excerpt from my diary)
Lately I’ve been struggling and when i say struggle i mean STRUGGGGGLLIING! I have been an emotional wreck! One minute I would be ok and then I would get a thought and then I'm mad. No one could detect my emotions because I’m good at hiding my emotions and suppressing things which is not good. Thoughts that are not even real and made up scenarios have been a constant thought of mine. In a way it’s been torture since I am honestly an upbeat, positive person who likes to laugh and joke around.
Nothing is worse than having so much anger, anxiety, and frustration due to made up scenarios or exaggerating situations. Sometimes we women we tend to be a little over dramatic but this kind of over analyzing/thinking is another level. We are emotional creatures by nature but I feel like when we
"Don't sit with your thoughts."
1 Peter 5:7-8; Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.
Sitting with your thoughts can be dangerous. The enemy is always looking for those with their guard down. When you are not watching and guarding your heart he will come and attack.
When you have thoughts that one are negative, and two can cause bitterness, anger, sadness, hate in your heart a situation that could have been resolved has now turned into a messy situation.
I recently had a moment where I was in my feelings and in my head. Close to a year ago a friend of mine had said somethings to me that at the time rubbed me the wrong way. I never told her how it made me feel, I just brushed it under the rug and acted as if it never happened which was a bad idea. Fast forward to the present little things would happen, she would say things in a joking manner but I did not take it that way, I started to take little things personal and she started to annoy me low key. I starting to become stand -offish meanwhile, I am reflecting on unresolved feelings that I had from the past and now I have formed a whole made up scenario in my head where anger started to fester and it got to to the point where I was ready for her if she came for me again in real life. Even though I knew she meant no ill when she said it, just the fact that I was embarrassed and how it made me feel in the moment is what magnified the issue.
Its important that we get clarification on things before we allow our imagination to run wild. Not everyone is out to get you. The enemy loves to bring division when the Lord is involved. When it comes to friendships or relationships, even walking into our purpose if the Lord if involved in anyway the enemy looks as that as a threat and will try anything to break that up. I saw this because going back to my transparency my friend is another christian, powerful woman of God and she challenges me daily to walk in my purpose/calling, she hold me accountable, she prays with me and just everything that we as women of God need in the time to keep up focused and on the right path.
When talking about purpose or calling we all have one. When you set goals for yourself or a vision board of what you want to accomplish by a specific age or year distractions come, worry, stress, comparison and overthinking. I know for me when I started this blog I was excited about this blog. I was posting 2 blogs a month and it was very fresh and exciting but when I started to compare myself and overthink about the content I was putting out i started to doubt myself and slack off an allow my emotions and thoughts to out weight what the Lord had put in my heart to do. Thats why its important to shut down and suggestions or thoughts that go against the word of God at the root. Do not fester on them and allow them to take root and plant themselves.
The devil wants to keep us where we're at. The devil knows once we find who we are he no longer has control over us, so why not try to one attack our minds/ thoughts since that's powerful in itself and second attack the relationships/community that God has brought together to empower, elevate and bring glory to his Kingdom.
Philippians 4: 6-7; Be careful for nothing but in everything by prayer an supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Something to remember is that your thoughts are very powerful. When you are feeling a way that is not of God also known as love let God know. Yes, God knows and sees all but let Him know what is going on, talk to him He wants us to commune with Him and just be real, raw and open with him. Come to him in prayer and ask Him to take out the confusion, anger, frustrations bitterness, and help you not to blow things out of proportion. Better yet ask God to reveal to you your heart and what is going on. I know for me I have grown to ask God for confirmation , clarification, revelation, discernment if I am unsure or overthinking.
Romans 8: 28; And we know that all things work together for good to them, that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
"Signs that You Overthink/ Analyze"
Let's first recognize that overthinking does more harm than good.
- I relive embarrassing moments in my heard repeatedly.
- I have trouble sleeping at night because I can't seem to turn off my thoughts.
- I spend a lot of time thinking about the hidden meaning in things people say or events that happen.
- I rehash conversations I had with people in my mind and think about all the things I wished I had or hadn't said.
- When someone says or acts in a way I don't like, I keep replaying it in my mind.
- I spend a lot of time worrying about things I have no control over.
If you said yes to any of these please call 555-555 haha just kidding.... but everyone can relate to most if not all. It's in our DNA. We have all been here before and if you haven't please share some tips on how you were able to not get touched with the overthinking bug. =)
I just want to encourage everyone who reads this to not be discouraged, your thoughts may be powerful but God is even more powerful. Give your thoughts to God and ask him to bring clarification if you need some clarity or to take those thoughts away and also denounce the lies of the enemy.
LET'S DECLARE:
I WILL NOT BE CONFORMED TO THIS WORLD, BUT TRANSFOR BY THE RENEWING OF MY MIND. THAT I MAY PROVE THE GOOD AND ACCEPTABLE AND PERFECT WILL OF GOD.
I REPENT OF MY OLD MINDSET. I ASK FOR FORGIVENESS FOR ALL SINS OF THOUGHT AND DEED. I COMMIT TO LEARNING RIGHT WAYS OF THINKING AND UNLEARNING WRONG WAYS.
I RENOUNCE AND REFUSE EVERY UNGODLY PATTERN THAT I LEARNED FROM MY YOUTH UNTIL NOW. I RENOUNCE AND REFUSE ALL DESTRUCTIVE VERBAL CONDITIONING TRAINING THAT I RECEIVED BY MODELING, AND MENTAL PROGRAMMING THAT CAME THROUGH CIRCUMSTANCES.
I RENOUNCE AND REFUSE EVERY NEGATIVE MINDSET AND ALL GENERATIONAL CURSES THAT HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THROUGH GENERATIONS IN MY BLOODLINE.
I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST TO MY MIND. I APPLY THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST TO MY BLOODLINE. GOD HAS NOT GIVEN ME THE SPIRIT OF FEAR BUT OF POWER, LOVE AND A SOUND MIND.
love you all,
xoxo Z.M <3